Thursday, October 7, 2010

Serenity......(totally random)

Serenity means:  (n.) The quality or state of being serene; clearness and calmness; quietness; stillness; peace.
(n.) Calmness of mind; evenness of temper; undisturbed state; coolness; composure.
I, actually, have been saying it a lot to describe one of my friends' daughters. This little girl is so quiet and has a beautiful clarity in her eyes that just touches my soul. Although, her mom does say that she has her times. The funny thing is that her mom is very calming for me. Kinda like a Jasper (Twilight anybody?) in our little group of mamas! :) I love her to death and really enjoy just being around her and the other moms in our Parent Participation Group.  
Anyways- I am not sure why I am blogging this and how I feel. I just want to be more open. Last week I was touched by so much happiness and greatness in my life that I really just am calm about just about everything. 
Those of you who truly know me would never use peaceful or serene to describe me. Edgy, bitchy, tell-it-like it is, may be.......SERENE? Nope. I am also described as out going and dramatic too. LOL! 
I am really not sure when the world flipped on its axis, but I think I may have flipped with it. 
Don't get me wrong, I still think I can get angry and a little bothered. When I was putting Sasha to bed today for a nap and she was fighting me...I think I was like, "Now, Sasha, I am getting mad!" And...I am pretty sure I was yelling it. But, after a story she was calm and ready for a nap and I was ready to come downstairs.   I read some of my faved blogs, was touched by some of them....have I mentioned I am a cry-er? SO WEIRD for me. LOL!
It didn't really hit me how serene I have become until I had a mom from our little group email me and tell me that she hoped I wasn't mad, but Sasha couldn't come to the birthday because it was for 4 year olds and that there was a project and there were a few kids that couldn't come because of maturity. I felt horrible.....because SHE felt so bad. I know my daughter better than anyone and I KNOW that little crafty classes are NOT her thing right now. Good Grief, she hates worksheets at school for God's Sakes! :) After getting a chuckle out of it....I wrote her back and let her know that I HOPE that she wasn't worried about it. I also said I hoped her little girl would come to Sasha's things that she was invited to. :) BUT then it HIT ME!!!!!!! The OLD ME.......would have probably asked her WTH her problem was with my kid??? LOL! I laugh as I write this because I have said this not to long ago. LOL! OH how we grow!!! :) I actually loved how her heart allowed her to even share with me her feelings about the whole thing. I also,  really love this person and really would NEVER put her in this position and would NEVER want her to worry about this during her little girl's b-day. I know I have been to some doozies with my son, where there was a kid that was a tyrant and all the kids were just like: "Uh-Mom?" I know Jon just would say: "That kid is being bad! Let's go!" Yes, Jon at 2 and 3 was more like a 5 year old. :) LOL! See how different your babies can be from each other??? LOL! Sasha is just starting to talk and tell us what she 3 Jon was telling us about the world according to him. LOL!
Also, this week I got a call from the Principal at Jon's school about a little incident with him and a teacher. First and foremost, if you know my son, he speaks his mind. Always has...even to his detriment.  He also will tell you the truth if you ask him if he has a problem. Well, let's just say, one of his teachers did just that and he said, "YES!" So, when the Principal called....she made a point to say she hadn't seen me for a while, so I said that would be because of Sasha! :) LOL! I said, "I was at Vision Screenings, but not sure how much I helped because I was running around with Sash!" LOL! I also told her that you will be so amazed how much different from each other my kids are. I SWEAR they have the same parents!!!! They are so different in ALL WAYS! :) She is blond. He is NOT. He is olive/golden complected. She is a porcelain white. She has curly long hair. He loves his shaved! HA! She is free spirited. He is analytical. She loves the outdoors. He loves his room. She loves people. He can take them or leave them. THEY BOTH are NOT shy and BOTH strong willed! :) So, take it how you want, but that can be a SCORE in some ways.
Anyways- wanted to just explain the differences between my kids. I also am thinking that the serenity is coming from the fact that I realize that I can't change the world, but I can change how I look at it and the people in it.
Like last week, there was a mama at Preschool that I couldn't have been more wrong about. Have you ever just pre-judged someone? I think as mama's we do it quickly if we feel our babies are not being looked at favorably. AND...if you have ever seen one of Sasha's tantrums, you may give a look too. Well, I thought this mom had a HUGE problem with my daughter, but when we got to talking....she just wasn't sure how to deal with Sasha yelling at her to stop singing the ABC song. AND believe me, it wasn't just saying STOP....I thought Sasha was gonna smack her and that just isn't cool. :( SO, of course, I had some sleepless nights because I thought this mom had the wrong idea of Sash. I should have just sat down and talked to her before thinking we would never talk civilly or be friends. Then, it happened, she asked me a question when we were upstairs while preschool was going on. AND....we started talking. AND...we found out we have some stuff in common. LOL! Go Figure, we are both straight forward and both protective mama bears. She told me the best story, but that is hers to tell. ;)  Anyways- God intervenes when you are totally wrong and he knows just when to do it. :)
So because of all of this, I have been so calm for the past week. :) And...there have been a couple of times where I could have come unglued--but the funny thing is: WHY? Believe me, I have had friends that I want to defend to their exes (I don't want to be sued for slander, but I do want to say to any FATHER that reads more than just "The Sperm Donor" be a DAD!) I love that quote from Parenthood: (Keanu Reeves character said it.): You know, Miss Buckman, you need a license to buy a dog or drive a car. Hell, you need a license to catch a fish. But they´ll let any butt-reamin´ asshole be your father.
Yep, I guess that is still the one thing that will get me mad and that I will NEVER be able to understand. Maybe I need to start another blog about opinions. Maybe my beautiful life blog where I post so much happiness and crafty goodness isn't the place for this type of talk, but I guess we found my "ON" switch. LOL! Anyways- I am taking the serene stand on this one and not going to these guys. And, I am ok with that. It does make me feel incredibly blessed with Garth and that he is here for the kids and me all the time. :) I have a good man! :) AND...I love his so much and appreciate him so much! :) LOVE YA BABE! :)
I just know that some people have wondered what is going on with me lately and have been asking if I am ok. :) I am ok....just serene. :)
So, this was my totally random post...I am hoping to post more about projects and what not soon. :) LOL!  

Thanks for reading! :)

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